Friday, June 6, 2014

"It sucks to be a girl..." It doesn't...

My daughter came home from school the other day. She'd had health class that morning and she said, "It sucks to be a girl. It's not fair." I said, "Why? Why would you say that?" "Because boys just keep getting bigger and stronger and we don't, we get weaker. We have cramps and bleeding and... it sucks." I tried to console her with words of the awesomeness that is to be a girl and then a woman. I'm not sure she wanted to hear it just then, but I do hope she was listening.

It is a gift to be a woman because we get to grow life in our bodies. Even if you never choose to exercise that gift, or if you are/were not able, the gift is there for all of us as a group and makes us  extraordinary.
It is a gift to be a woman because our bodies are softer and gentler and therefore produce less destruction. The "gentler sex" is not a criticism but a complement.
It is a gift to be a woman because our blood flow remains almost fully to our brains and can therefore maintain thoughts and decision making.
It is a gift to be a woman because we can be feminine and wear dresses without having to fight for our right to do so.

It's harder to be a girl because Society makes it harder. All of the responsibility of being mature is placed on the woman. She can't be herself because she might be too promiscuous and therefore "bring on" unwanted sexual advances to herself. She can't be herself because she enjoys going to a particular bar for particular music and dancing, but it's not safe for women to go there. She can't be herself because she's bossy and wants what she wants but society says she has to want for others and to be self sacrificing. She can't be herself because she's told that other people's needs are more important than her own. She can't be herself because she feels powerless, because strength is used in a threatening way to subdue her, to scare her, to make her feel "less than."

I don't want my girls to grow up feeling like it "sucks to be a girl." I want them to grow up knowing and seeing the beauty in our sex and to not be afraid to ask for what they want. I want them to grow up feeling good about the choices they make for themselves because they are women, not because society told them to act or behave a certain way. In fact, I want that for all people. I want all people to feel comfortable in who they are... the feminine boy, the man that wants to wear dresses, the girl that loves all the things they were told only boys like, boys loving boys and girls loving girls... I want them ALL to feel OK.

Society is not going to hell because the changes make YOU uncomfortable. Society is going to hell every time hatred is spewed because you feel uncomfortable.

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